Miss [Jimmy] Page,
I'm going to be me. And being my stoic elusive self includes that I most adequately express myself through the keyboard.
Homosapiens are considered herding animals; they're uncomfortable without company. There is, however, a minority of people who do not seek constant companionship and are most comfortable in solitude. Remember I told you I'm not a social creature? I meet a lot of people every week, but most of them fail to interest me, which is why I don't bother to seek them out ever again. I suppose I'm more like a wolf with binoculars on a grassy knoll, eyeing the herd of sheep, seeking his prey (I'm not implying I intend to eat you (unless in a sexual manner (heh ha))).
So I let most people slip by in a single night or mutually vice versa. You, on the other hand, made the cut. This is because, aside from obvious physical attraction, you embody the demographic that I've been seeking to befriend lately: artists, writers, musicians, and chill hippies. But my quagmire is I do so under the presumption that artists are inherently reclusive. They tend to be dark, brooding, socially inept, and sitting on the edge of lunacy. My pursuit of you is stymied by the observation that your temperament places you toward the extroverted extreme rather than the expected quiet and contemplating introvert. As narcissistic as it sounds, my concern is I will or already have been diluted within your crowded social life. Given our age difference and physical distance between us, our connection can be easily severed.
Our age difference does not concern me. Age is just a poor half-assed indicator of maturity.
The physical distance between us doesn't concern me either. I savor the journey but not necessarily the destination; an hour-long drive down an interstate is most therapeutic.
However, there is the mystery of your sexual orientation. Many gays immediately ejaculate the argument that nobody is 100% gay nor straight, but rather we all lie on a spectrum between hetero and homo. Even the stockiest, sweatiest, hairiest, dip-chewing, pick-up driving cowboy in Oklahoma is at least 2% gay. Anyways, based on everything I've seen and heard, I'll infer that you are 80% gay and 20% straight. Not that I'm prejudiced against gays. I've learned to appreciate the company of gays as that persistent blanket of sexual tension gets annihilated, plus they offer alternative points of view.
Well, fuck, I'm not sure how to conclude this. And I have no idea what sort of reaction I'll receive, if any. I guess I just wanted to unleash some thought out of my psilocybin-tattered mind. Nevertheless, I'd love to see you again.
"Artists hear what no one else hears. They see what no one else sees. They say what no one else says. They must. And to do this, they traffic in the slippery yield of their own souls. They bring to earth the wrack and lode of depths that only they can reach and still come back alive.Art breeds loners. Loners breed art." – Anneli Rufus
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
that stuff makes pure mescaline seem like ginger beer, man
So you've chewed on some shrooms and now think you're on an equivalent shamanic level of expertise as Terrence McKenna? You think you've tripped? You ain't tripped until you've drowned yourself in Salvinorin A. This is the kind of trippin where you must chain yourself to a bed in a pitch-black room. Here's a compilation of Salvia trip experiences over my years:
(1) Perhaps if I had seen it, it could have winked at me and I would have known it was all good. Instead, the sensation of the night has been fear. My psychoactive energy awoke an entity and it proceeded to scare the shit out of me in the basement. It caused two loud crashes. I recall apologizing to the forest spirit for being human whilst in my dreamlike state. Maybe I created the spirit in my mind and it proceeded to incarnate itself in the universe of reality.
One crash and I wouldn't have thought much, but two crashes within fifteen minutes is terrifying.
Next time, someone must be with me. Maybe to comfort me or maybe to spot that forest spirit, and take a picture of it. I bet that would be worth something to Dan Seibert.
If I switched to an MAOI, I'd probably be travelling the universe right now. Goddamn modern medicine. Seven droppers of Emerald Essence tonight, and nothing for proof but fear and a few dream images: standing at a train station and adults, possibly parents, preparing for a trip and motioning for me to come along. Machines and roads and grassy hills, a theme of travel?
I was inspired to take the second trip on the hill or in some forest, to repent to the forest spirit I suppose. Communication with other life forms could be revolutionary. Goodnight, Gaia. I guess I cannot stop you from watching me. I mean no harm when I'm under the influence of a psychedelic. Was that last night's lesson?
(2) 'And you thought you were making this up' was the common theme of last night's salvia trip.
It was the most visual experience to date, mainly because it was ninety percent closed-eye visuals. I was holding the essence with my hand over my mouth for the last five of the fifteen-minute absorption period. Shapes and colors became more prominent than usual. Stunning. An inner nurse was telling me it'll be okay. She cared for me.
I swallowed it all after eighteen minutes. I lay back in my bed and closed my eyes. All the patterns were orange. There was a traveling theme again, flying about orange striped walls, hills, columns, pillars, branches with orange buds, and etcetera. All these shapes smoothly morphed into each other, unrestrainedly flowing.
I wasn't sure if I were consciously manifesting this journey. My theory is I would consciously think of something and my subconscious, or salvia, would immediately integrate that thought into the journey. Perhaps it was feeding off my mind. I would picture something, and it would simultaneously morph or sprout into a new shape. As I was debating this internally, voices were chanting, 'And you thought you were making this up.' These voices were also constantly chanting one-word phrases, and of course I can't recall any particular word. I believe the audio hallucinations originated from my breathing and the box fan in my room. Note that both of these are rhythmic patterns that would lead to rhythmic chanting.
Then I thought, 'where are the elves?' I saw one or two hiding behind the morphing trees, but I wasn't sure if those were the real elves. Then it crossed my mind that the elves were behind the scenes. They are the spirit of any hallucinogen, using my manifestations to produce more visuals to stimulate more of my own conscious. I perceived them outside the cube that is my perception working little machines attached to the walls of the box. Perhaps they were doing all the chanting.
This would all be very exciting were I to determine that it wasn't all within my own mind. And they were trying to convince me otherwise. Was the phrase also within my mind? That is the question.
During the second half of the journey, the sensation of slowly going insane returned to me. 'I'm ready for this to end. It's not stopping. If it keeps going at this rate, I'll go insane.' That more or less sums it up for both trips. It got a little frustrating. But why would I want my 'escape from reality' to end? Because it clashes with reality.
It took me a while to fall asleep. My breathing was causing too much visual stimulation. Orange wisps flowing in and out with every breath. Absolutely beautiful.
Progress leads to conflict. Conflict leads to progress. What an incredible night.
(3) I have found something to incapacitate myself to the point of an incapability to type. So I must recap the Divine Sage trip the morning after it happened. I took about ten droppers of the Emerald Essence.
Last night was similar to the previous shroom-salvia supertrip, yet it had its own personality. I very much enjoyed the onset. It started to kick in about four minutes into the absorption period. This quickly hindered my ability to continue reading Lord of the Rings.
So I was coming up, right? Drawing trails with my fingers, staring at the glare of my bedlight off the paint on the bathroom door, and seeing the sheets on my bed as a vast landscape. I finished the absorption, swallowed the Essence, turned off the light, and entered the Land of Dreams.
The next roughly forty minutes was a race through hundreds of short dreams. Each of these lasted maybe five seconds to a full minute. Last trip, I described the images seamlessly and continuously morphing from one to the next. The dreams had this same flowing quality.
I've been trying to remember as many as I can, but you know how most dreams immediately slip from memory. For the first clearly defined one, I was basically a molecule on the bottom of a metallic rake swinging over a green lawn. Some motherly character was tending the garden. I turned onto my side, and this metal beam kept pushing my head to the left. I realized this beam was the pillow.
I became more separated from my physical body. My eyes were half closed. The dreams were streaming through the top half of my vision, the closed eye field, and reality was sitting there in a dark and blurred background along the bottom of the visual spectrum.
Now this is the really cool part, I was so pulled away from my body that I honestly forgot who I was, what I was, and that I even existed in this universe. I was so involved in this rush through the Land of Dreams that my identity was lost. As I was laying on my side, my heartbeat could be felt in my right ear. Did I realize it was my own heart? Certainly not. I noticed this interesting rhythmic tremor in the bare ground. There were three or four men, most likely excavators with shovels and other tools. We were all observing this pulse with a wonder like it were some phenomenon that we had not seen before. I was amazed this subterranean organ, tied to some greater network, could operate itself with such a steady natural tempo. Who or what was regulating it? Certainly not I. Note this description does not do justice to this spectre.
I exhaled through my mouth, but it felt more like some rusty old pipes releasing accumulated pressure of whatever gas was in the system. I hoped it wasn't toxic gas discharging into an ambient room.
Those are the specific dreams I can recall. There seemed to be many dreams where people were wisping me away to take care of something technical that needed to be done.
I guess I'm developing a mind of metal and wheels, as the Ents would say. The left-brain is becoming too dominant, for my interest for psychedelics is waning. I surely hope this is a temporary lull due to dispersed trips over the past half year. We'll see as the weather warms and the fat old sun lingers longer in the sky. Perhaps I've just listened to my Floyd albums so many times that my appreciation for psychedelic stimulation is diluting.
I thought I should draw something; try to capture some common image. Then I was convinced if I turned on the light, sat up, and sketched that I would end up drawing whatever was in my vision at that moment, simply because it looked so cool. This means I would have drawn my bedroom door and blankets on foot of bed. That and I didn't feel like disturbing the dreamflow.
Finally, I've been inspired to try a future trip with music. Last night was hideously silent in a black house. I think some music would act as a catalyst into an entirely different sort of trip. So I need a mellow song, a trippy song, a long song, a well-admired song. I need a song that will take me on a journey through a beautiful soundscape. You already know what I've chosen: Echoes, the epic masterpiece of the Meddle era. This is already exciting me.
(4) So I tried the Sage Essence with a little music and received an effect opposite from my expectation. It had a sobering effect, like playing video games when drunk. I'm so used to that time delay effect from ganja that a lack of it seemed to accelerate passage of time.
There were of course a few moments of getting wrapped up in the tune. I noticed previously unnoticed parts. Initially, the volume was relatively low since I thought any piercing high E string throb would give me a bad jolt. I turned it up at the start of the second section.
The song creates an aural void, as we all are aware. The Sage put more of a visual to this soundscape. Start with a cross floating above you as the song begins. Then sit next to a wall in a completely calm scene, no motion, in the second section. The third section, as always, was pretty creepy with monsters hanging their heads low as they passed by a doorway to look at you.
And I'm always amazed at the perceived depth of the albatross whales as they go flying by in the third section. All they did was mix the cawing in at different volumes to put the creatures at varying distances.
Voices bring you back to reality. The visions dry up. Instrumental sections allow your mind to wander.
Overall a pleasant experience but not as moving as I was expecting. Dosage size was large enough to do the job.
(5) Most intense trip to date last night! 100x extract on top of the Essence, just as planned.
Let us begin at the beginning: I'm sitting there in the absorption period, reading the bibliography of Nick Drake. That's so fucked up. Anyways, I probably shouldn't have been reading of this as I was coming up, but I was listening to him all day and it felt right.
The absorption is finished and I hit my bowl of extract, one small toke. As I hold the smoke in my lungs, reality is quickly slipping from my perception. I hold it in for about twenty-five seconds, then let it escape through my window into Gaia's atmosphere.
True open-eyed visuals, as I struggled to cut off my bedlight and plunge myself into the protective darkness. My only distinct memory was a frame about my vision, a frame made of pairs of naked legs.
Darkness blanketed myself as I lay in bed on my left side.
Listen up now, this is the profound part. The first three to five minutes was intense and chalk full of confusion, due to the inhaled extract which traveled straight to my mind. As I said, reality was hanging by a thread.
Where am I? What am I doing? What am I supposed to be doing? Am I lying up or standing down? Who is that in my left ear? Who's pushing me from the right? Am I falling? Am I about to fall? Why are these people so annoying?
The hallucination being I was leaning against a column of my left side. Someone was pushing me from the right while a voice from the left instructed me to move along. Apparently I was blocking the hallway and these authoritative figures were urging me to move. They almost succeeded, they were pretty convincing.
Way in the back of my head I was reminding myself that I didn't need to move. Last time I checked, I was lying in my own bed, the safest place in the universe. Moving from that spot would put me at risk.
…confusion.
Couldn't these people see I'm in my bed? They were really getting to me. I believe they sort of faded from characters to a pure urge to move. Got to fight it! I came really close to telling them off, telling them to shut up and leave me alone to my trip. I mean really yelling at them.
…confusion.
Here I am, observing the official breakdown of my mind and permanent loss of sanity. Just hold on a couple more minutes and I should return to baseline. Then a scary thought hit my mind: with all this internal conflict, how does the brain know to continue those involuntary functions, mainly breathing and beating the heart? This opens a whole new concern for me. I suppose the definitive overdose is the loss of those precious involuntary functions, leading to death. So I lie and distress over this for a little while, but this new fear replaced those damn authoritative figures, which could have been the incarnation of gravity. Deep stuff, man.
So there I was, enduring the most surreal experience to date. It/They seemed so real. These superimposed emotions felt genuine, but where had they come from?
I attempted to construct a sentence in my mind, to speak to myself as I do so often. It's like my own conversation I have with an imaginary entity, a practice session before I replace the entity with a real person capable of their own critical thought. But I couldn't form an entire sentence! I put about three words together before mental control slipped from my grasp. The Salvinorin firmly held my mind, the Essence was in control.
I experimented with this lack of control. I pictured [a young lady], and she was immediately pushed out of the shot by this giant pink oscillating sponge-like wall. Actually the mobile wall didn't seem nearly as sexual as that description just did. Then I reformed her image, lying on the couch in her living room. Immediately this large mechanically robotic arm picked her up by the head and removed her. It was the damnedest thing. So I had no choice but to lie there and observe the images broadcast through my own mental existence.
After a few minutes I noticed I was compiling full sentences. My control was returning! Hooray! The images were still going strong as I contentedly observed the flow. Most of them were mechanical of some sort, I guess the college establishment is doing a fine job of molding my mind. One cool visual was what appeared a large square aircraft carrier, with towers at each corner. Perhaps the earlier salvic experience was more nature-oriented because of my being still under the influence of psilocybin. So I'd rather think of cold hard threaded steel than a few warm-blooded trees, hmm?
The entire trip lasted about an hour, the first five minutes being the most intense followed by a slow descent to baseline with multitudes of morphing visuals, kinda like the Empty Spaces sequence in The Wall where all the shapes are morphing about. I'm glad I've found something in the real world to articulate the trip that you inexperienced folks can relate to: watch The Wall!
Ironically; possession, consumption, and distribution of this plant or any form of extract is perfectly legal in the United States (with some exceptions by certain state laws). This is because salvia is not categorized as a 'party drug', thereby deterring The Man from killing our buzz, but that's another story.
(1) Perhaps if I had seen it, it could have winked at me and I would have known it was all good. Instead, the sensation of the night has been fear. My psychoactive energy awoke an entity and it proceeded to scare the shit out of me in the basement. It caused two loud crashes. I recall apologizing to the forest spirit for being human whilst in my dreamlike state. Maybe I created the spirit in my mind and it proceeded to incarnate itself in the universe of reality.
One crash and I wouldn't have thought much, but two crashes within fifteen minutes is terrifying.
Next time, someone must be with me. Maybe to comfort me or maybe to spot that forest spirit, and take a picture of it. I bet that would be worth something to Dan Seibert.
If I switched to an MAOI, I'd probably be travelling the universe right now. Goddamn modern medicine. Seven droppers of Emerald Essence tonight, and nothing for proof but fear and a few dream images: standing at a train station and adults, possibly parents, preparing for a trip and motioning for me to come along. Machines and roads and grassy hills, a theme of travel?
I was inspired to take the second trip on the hill or in some forest, to repent to the forest spirit I suppose. Communication with other life forms could be revolutionary. Goodnight, Gaia. I guess I cannot stop you from watching me. I mean no harm when I'm under the influence of a psychedelic. Was that last night's lesson?
(2) 'And you thought you were making this up' was the common theme of last night's salvia trip.
It was the most visual experience to date, mainly because it was ninety percent closed-eye visuals. I was holding the essence with my hand over my mouth for the last five of the fifteen-minute absorption period. Shapes and colors became more prominent than usual. Stunning. An inner nurse was telling me it'll be okay. She cared for me.
I swallowed it all after eighteen minutes. I lay back in my bed and closed my eyes. All the patterns were orange. There was a traveling theme again, flying about orange striped walls, hills, columns, pillars, branches with orange buds, and etcetera. All these shapes smoothly morphed into each other, unrestrainedly flowing.
I wasn't sure if I were consciously manifesting this journey. My theory is I would consciously think of something and my subconscious, or salvia, would immediately integrate that thought into the journey. Perhaps it was feeding off my mind. I would picture something, and it would simultaneously morph or sprout into a new shape. As I was debating this internally, voices were chanting, 'And you thought you were making this up.' These voices were also constantly chanting one-word phrases, and of course I can't recall any particular word. I believe the audio hallucinations originated from my breathing and the box fan in my room. Note that both of these are rhythmic patterns that would lead to rhythmic chanting.
Then I thought, 'where are the elves?' I saw one or two hiding behind the morphing trees, but I wasn't sure if those were the real elves. Then it crossed my mind that the elves were behind the scenes. They are the spirit of any hallucinogen, using my manifestations to produce more visuals to stimulate more of my own conscious. I perceived them outside the cube that is my perception working little machines attached to the walls of the box. Perhaps they were doing all the chanting.
This would all be very exciting were I to determine that it wasn't all within my own mind. And they were trying to convince me otherwise. Was the phrase also within my mind? That is the question.
During the second half of the journey, the sensation of slowly going insane returned to me. 'I'm ready for this to end. It's not stopping. If it keeps going at this rate, I'll go insane.' That more or less sums it up for both trips. It got a little frustrating. But why would I want my 'escape from reality' to end? Because it clashes with reality.
It took me a while to fall asleep. My breathing was causing too much visual stimulation. Orange wisps flowing in and out with every breath. Absolutely beautiful.
Progress leads to conflict. Conflict leads to progress. What an incredible night.
(3) I have found something to incapacitate myself to the point of an incapability to type. So I must recap the Divine Sage trip the morning after it happened. I took about ten droppers of the Emerald Essence.
Last night was similar to the previous shroom-salvia supertrip, yet it had its own personality. I very much enjoyed the onset. It started to kick in about four minutes into the absorption period. This quickly hindered my ability to continue reading Lord of the Rings.
So I was coming up, right? Drawing trails with my fingers, staring at the glare of my bedlight off the paint on the bathroom door, and seeing the sheets on my bed as a vast landscape. I finished the absorption, swallowed the Essence, turned off the light, and entered the Land of Dreams.
The next roughly forty minutes was a race through hundreds of short dreams. Each of these lasted maybe five seconds to a full minute. Last trip, I described the images seamlessly and continuously morphing from one to the next. The dreams had this same flowing quality.
I've been trying to remember as many as I can, but you know how most dreams immediately slip from memory. For the first clearly defined one, I was basically a molecule on the bottom of a metallic rake swinging over a green lawn. Some motherly character was tending the garden. I turned onto my side, and this metal beam kept pushing my head to the left. I realized this beam was the pillow.
I became more separated from my physical body. My eyes were half closed. The dreams were streaming through the top half of my vision, the closed eye field, and reality was sitting there in a dark and blurred background along the bottom of the visual spectrum.
Now this is the really cool part, I was so pulled away from my body that I honestly forgot who I was, what I was, and that I even existed in this universe. I was so involved in this rush through the Land of Dreams that my identity was lost. As I was laying on my side, my heartbeat could be felt in my right ear. Did I realize it was my own heart? Certainly not. I noticed this interesting rhythmic tremor in the bare ground. There were three or four men, most likely excavators with shovels and other tools. We were all observing this pulse with a wonder like it were some phenomenon that we had not seen before. I was amazed this subterranean organ, tied to some greater network, could operate itself with such a steady natural tempo. Who or what was regulating it? Certainly not I. Note this description does not do justice to this spectre.
I exhaled through my mouth, but it felt more like some rusty old pipes releasing accumulated pressure of whatever gas was in the system. I hoped it wasn't toxic gas discharging into an ambient room.
Those are the specific dreams I can recall. There seemed to be many dreams where people were wisping me away to take care of something technical that needed to be done.
I guess I'm developing a mind of metal and wheels, as the Ents would say. The left-brain is becoming too dominant, for my interest for psychedelics is waning. I surely hope this is a temporary lull due to dispersed trips over the past half year. We'll see as the weather warms and the fat old sun lingers longer in the sky. Perhaps I've just listened to my Floyd albums so many times that my appreciation for psychedelic stimulation is diluting.
I thought I should draw something; try to capture some common image. Then I was convinced if I turned on the light, sat up, and sketched that I would end up drawing whatever was in my vision at that moment, simply because it looked so cool. This means I would have drawn my bedroom door and blankets on foot of bed. That and I didn't feel like disturbing the dreamflow.
Finally, I've been inspired to try a future trip with music. Last night was hideously silent in a black house. I think some music would act as a catalyst into an entirely different sort of trip. So I need a mellow song, a trippy song, a long song, a well-admired song. I need a song that will take me on a journey through a beautiful soundscape. You already know what I've chosen: Echoes, the epic masterpiece of the Meddle era. This is already exciting me.
(4) So I tried the Sage Essence with a little music and received an effect opposite from my expectation. It had a sobering effect, like playing video games when drunk. I'm so used to that time delay effect from ganja that a lack of it seemed to accelerate passage of time.
There were of course a few moments of getting wrapped up in the tune. I noticed previously unnoticed parts. Initially, the volume was relatively low since I thought any piercing high E string throb would give me a bad jolt. I turned it up at the start of the second section.
The song creates an aural void, as we all are aware. The Sage put more of a visual to this soundscape. Start with a cross floating above you as the song begins. Then sit next to a wall in a completely calm scene, no motion, in the second section. The third section, as always, was pretty creepy with monsters hanging their heads low as they passed by a doorway to look at you.
And I'm always amazed at the perceived depth of the albatross whales as they go flying by in the third section. All they did was mix the cawing in at different volumes to put the creatures at varying distances.
Voices bring you back to reality. The visions dry up. Instrumental sections allow your mind to wander.
Overall a pleasant experience but not as moving as I was expecting. Dosage size was large enough to do the job.
(5) Most intense trip to date last night! 100x extract on top of the Essence, just as planned.
Let us begin at the beginning: I'm sitting there in the absorption period, reading the bibliography of Nick Drake. That's so fucked up. Anyways, I probably shouldn't have been reading of this as I was coming up, but I was listening to him all day and it felt right.
The absorption is finished and I hit my bowl of extract, one small toke. As I hold the smoke in my lungs, reality is quickly slipping from my perception. I hold it in for about twenty-five seconds, then let it escape through my window into Gaia's atmosphere.
True open-eyed visuals, as I struggled to cut off my bedlight and plunge myself into the protective darkness. My only distinct memory was a frame about my vision, a frame made of pairs of naked legs.
Darkness blanketed myself as I lay in bed on my left side.
Listen up now, this is the profound part. The first three to five minutes was intense and chalk full of confusion, due to the inhaled extract which traveled straight to my mind. As I said, reality was hanging by a thread.
Where am I? What am I doing? What am I supposed to be doing? Am I lying up or standing down? Who is that in my left ear? Who's pushing me from the right? Am I falling? Am I about to fall? Why are these people so annoying?
The hallucination being I was leaning against a column of my left side. Someone was pushing me from the right while a voice from the left instructed me to move along. Apparently I was blocking the hallway and these authoritative figures were urging me to move. They almost succeeded, they were pretty convincing.
Way in the back of my head I was reminding myself that I didn't need to move. Last time I checked, I was lying in my own bed, the safest place in the universe. Moving from that spot would put me at risk.
…confusion.
Couldn't these people see I'm in my bed? They were really getting to me. I believe they sort of faded from characters to a pure urge to move. Got to fight it! I came really close to telling them off, telling them to shut up and leave me alone to my trip. I mean really yelling at them.
…confusion.
Here I am, observing the official breakdown of my mind and permanent loss of sanity. Just hold on a couple more minutes and I should return to baseline. Then a scary thought hit my mind: with all this internal conflict, how does the brain know to continue those involuntary functions, mainly breathing and beating the heart? This opens a whole new concern for me. I suppose the definitive overdose is the loss of those precious involuntary functions, leading to death. So I lie and distress over this for a little while, but this new fear replaced those damn authoritative figures, which could have been the incarnation of gravity. Deep stuff, man.
So there I was, enduring the most surreal experience to date. It/They seemed so real. These superimposed emotions felt genuine, but where had they come from?
I attempted to construct a sentence in my mind, to speak to myself as I do so often. It's like my own conversation I have with an imaginary entity, a practice session before I replace the entity with a real person capable of their own critical thought. But I couldn't form an entire sentence! I put about three words together before mental control slipped from my grasp. The Salvinorin firmly held my mind, the Essence was in control.
I experimented with this lack of control. I pictured [a young lady], and she was immediately pushed out of the shot by this giant pink oscillating sponge-like wall. Actually the mobile wall didn't seem nearly as sexual as that description just did. Then I reformed her image, lying on the couch in her living room. Immediately this large mechanically robotic arm picked her up by the head and removed her. It was the damnedest thing. So I had no choice but to lie there and observe the images broadcast through my own mental existence.
After a few minutes I noticed I was compiling full sentences. My control was returning! Hooray! The images were still going strong as I contentedly observed the flow. Most of them were mechanical of some sort, I guess the college establishment is doing a fine job of molding my mind. One cool visual was what appeared a large square aircraft carrier, with towers at each corner. Perhaps the earlier salvic experience was more nature-oriented because of my being still under the influence of psilocybin. So I'd rather think of cold hard threaded steel than a few warm-blooded trees, hmm?
The entire trip lasted about an hour, the first five minutes being the most intense followed by a slow descent to baseline with multitudes of morphing visuals, kinda like the Empty Spaces sequence in The Wall where all the shapes are morphing about. I'm glad I've found something in the real world to articulate the trip that you inexperienced folks can relate to: watch The Wall!
Ironically; possession, consumption, and distribution of this plant or any form of extract is perfectly legal in the United States (with some exceptions by certain state laws). This is because salvia is not categorized as a 'party drug', thereby deterring The Man from killing our buzz, but that's another story.
just another freak in the Freak Kingdom
That title refers to me not you, unless you want it to ;)
The effectivity of myspace has been confirmed; the loop hath been closed; all yield to the might of the pen (or keyboard).
"The only chance now, I felt, was the possibility that we had gone to such excess that nobody in the position to bring the hammer down on us could possibly believe it."
So this completely random fellow American emails me. He hits me with five simple words: "How can you be you?"
I expeditiously respond: "In what sense? I don't handle vague questions well." Which is true, when asked a broad open-ended question like that my mind scatters in forty-two different directions.
His response is: "Are you real or make believe?"
Fantastic!
I failed to foresee this challenge, but it does serve as an alibi if I'm ever accused of… whatever I may be scheming.
Is my profile that extreme? Was this guy utterly offended? Was he so myopic that my profile was a smack across the face with a cinder block? People think I've slipped so far from this plane of reality that I must be a creature of gonzo creativity? I didn't plan to convert myself into Paul Kemp, or Raoul Duke, or a self-appointed doctor of creative writing. I may have driven through Death Valley, but I never picked up a hitchhiking Spiderman. Admitting that any aspect of this site is fictitious negates the authenticity of the entire profile and blogspace. I'm using MySpace to demonstrate that I do exist, and with some luck, reiki, and positive kharma I'll find kindred spirits.
To add to the irony, this wasn't some bible-thumping minister from Alabama; this is a Pacific Northwestern artist we're talking about. Excuse my stereotyping. On the skeptical side, he could be an incognito internal affairs agent keeping tabs on me. He could be a sleeper cell trying to employ an inside man. Or he could even be in cahoots with Her. See how paranoid working with the Guv has made me?
Back to the initial question, I'll hand out a vain prescription for how to blossom into an anomaly like me, but the show-stopping impediment is most of my lunacy is a gift/curse I was born with.
A twelve step program for "How to be me":
1. become miserably depressed, manically bi-polar, disassociatingly depersonalized, and isolate yourself from humanity to develop agoraphobia. Then develop an allergy to serotonergic agents that prevents you from ingesting 99% of all anti-depressant meds.
2. start smokin reefer at the age of 16, but remain too scared to drink until the age of 19, develop a lust for tequila, and come to believe you're a socially acceptable person only when you're drunk
3. be raised Catholic, but lose your faith at the age of 11. Wander the Earth pondering your purpose and searching for proof of a cosmic babysitter.
4. become an introverted obsessive-compulsive perfectionist, don't speak when in groups of five or more, just observe the social dynamics, remain terrorized of confrontation and competition
5. eat plenty of fruits and leafy green vegetables
6. jog at least ten miles per week
7. as an iconoclastic individualist, you can't never get no satisfaction
8. don't be a morning person, set your circadian rhythm to put you to sleep from 4am to 11am. When you wake up and don't have much to do, just lie in bed for an hour or two.
9. some people are left brain dominant, some people are right brain dominant, you need to set your halves to be equally balanced
10. when chasing muff, don't instigate. You're not programmed to tackle drunk bitches. Drunk bitches are programmed to tackle you.
11. hold more sentimental relationships with lifeless objects rather than people
12. fall in love with a girl, establish a myspace profile just to contact her, then grow your profile into the monstrosity it is today
The effectivity of myspace has been confirmed; the loop hath been closed; all yield to the might of the pen (or keyboard).
"The only chance now, I felt, was the possibility that we had gone to such excess that nobody in the position to bring the hammer down on us could possibly believe it."
So this completely random fellow American emails me. He hits me with five simple words: "How can you be you?"
I expeditiously respond: "In what sense? I don't handle vague questions well." Which is true, when asked a broad open-ended question like that my mind scatters in forty-two different directions.
His response is: "Are you real or make believe?"
Fantastic!
I failed to foresee this challenge, but it does serve as an alibi if I'm ever accused of… whatever I may be scheming.
Is my profile that extreme? Was this guy utterly offended? Was he so myopic that my profile was a smack across the face with a cinder block? People think I've slipped so far from this plane of reality that I must be a creature of gonzo creativity? I didn't plan to convert myself into Paul Kemp, or Raoul Duke, or a self-appointed doctor of creative writing. I may have driven through Death Valley, but I never picked up a hitchhiking Spiderman. Admitting that any aspect of this site is fictitious negates the authenticity of the entire profile and blogspace. I'm using MySpace to demonstrate that I do exist, and with some luck, reiki, and positive kharma I'll find kindred spirits.
To add to the irony, this wasn't some bible-thumping minister from Alabama; this is a Pacific Northwestern artist we're talking about. Excuse my stereotyping. On the skeptical side, he could be an incognito internal affairs agent keeping tabs on me. He could be a sleeper cell trying to employ an inside man. Or he could even be in cahoots with Her. See how paranoid working with the Guv has made me?
Back to the initial question, I'll hand out a vain prescription for how to blossom into an anomaly like me, but the show-stopping impediment is most of my lunacy is a gift/curse I was born with.
A twelve step program for "How to be me":
1. become miserably depressed, manically bi-polar, disassociatingly depersonalized, and isolate yourself from humanity to develop agoraphobia. Then develop an allergy to serotonergic agents that prevents you from ingesting 99% of all anti-depressant meds.
2. start smokin reefer at the age of 16, but remain too scared to drink until the age of 19, develop a lust for tequila, and come to believe you're a socially acceptable person only when you're drunk
3. be raised Catholic, but lose your faith at the age of 11. Wander the Earth pondering your purpose and searching for proof of a cosmic babysitter.
4. become an introverted obsessive-compulsive perfectionist, don't speak when in groups of five or more, just observe the social dynamics, remain terrorized of confrontation and competition
5. eat plenty of fruits and leafy green vegetables
6. jog at least ten miles per week
7. as an iconoclastic individualist, you can't never get no satisfaction
8. don't be a morning person, set your circadian rhythm to put you to sleep from 4am to 11am. When you wake up and don't have much to do, just lie in bed for an hour or two.
9. some people are left brain dominant, some people are right brain dominant, you need to set your halves to be equally balanced
10. when chasing muff, don't instigate. You're not programmed to tackle drunk bitches. Drunk bitches are programmed to tackle you.
11. hold more sentimental relationships with lifeless objects rather than people
12. fall in love with a girl, establish a myspace profile just to contact her, then grow your profile into the monstrosity it is today
What's amusing is I'm just getting warmed up, but don't expect every blog to be deeply introspective. My blogspace is a venerable variety show, a box of chocolates.
lots of people talkin, few of them know, soul of a Woman was created Below
Belt it out, Robert: "You hurt and abuse tellin' all of your lies, run around sweet baby, Lord how they hypnotize."
Where did this geyser of hope come from? This is me we're talking about, for the five of you who know me. This is the cold guy who refused to tell his girlfriend of over three years that he Loved her. This is the black-hearted man who sympathizes with Voldemort since he never knew Love. This is the antisocial jackass who immediately despises every attractive girl he sees in a club because – well, he jumps to conclusions. This is completely uncharacteristic; this isn't the jerk you've seen moping around. This incident attempts to reaffirm concepts such as kharma or poetic justice, or perhaps I'm just lonely. Read with the caveat that I may have amplified, exaggerated, and cranked up the distortion in my head after all this time to the point where a clean acoustic now sounds like a Mesa Boogie Triple Rectifier:
Let's throw a thick brick on the Wall. I met this gorgeous girl about a month ago. I could imagine her singing for the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Actually she approached me. At first I thought she would attempt to sell me something, then she engaged into run-of-the-mill getting-to-know-you banter. That included the usual inquisition into what my job entails J. She showed strong interest: a good deal of casual touching, a punch to the chest, excited dialogue, and I received a hug after making a crack at Catholicism. However, she also claimed to be drunk, and kept reminding me that I was not being exposed to the real her, her genuine personality being that of an 'asshole' – her word. But we continued to chatter and she said a couple of things that grabbed my interest, and she eventually hit a nerve. As I said before, I have trouble connecting with people. Most people bore me. The yuppie, the jock, the stoned burnout, the religious zealot, the officer & gentleman; I've met you all and you bore me. It takes a rare someone to draw me out of my shell, which she successfully pulled off. "Keep eye contact, make her laugh, and this should draw her in further", as I coach myself. Granted she was hyper due to the alcohol, but being around drunk people has played a funny role to me since high school. Even though I may be sober, I loosen up and let my guard down in the presence of drunks because I can then get away with shrewd acts in the probability that they'll only have a hazy recollection of whatever I did.
So three aspects combined to make an outstanding meeting: lack of inhibition between both of us, she instigating interest by approaching me (which boosts confidence tenfold), and then one-on-one conversation. I can't perform in front of groups, which is why I didn't seek her out as she invited me to join her friends after she left. My thought process being: I met her individually, I'm satisfied in meeting just her, I don't want to meet her tribe, I might then choke up and destroy the entire encounter. Her conclusion was very forward – paraphrased – "We should hang out, we can surf together, I'd hate to walk out on your life and never see you again." She eagerly gives me her number.
So I call her the next day to remind her of our meeting, of which she assured me she would remember despite the alcohol. I realize this goes against the Man Law stated in Swingers that you're supposed to wait three days, but this was an extenuating circumstance since she was under the influence that previous night. She calls back a few hours later and gives me this "let me figure out my work schedule and I'll call you later this week." I don't hear from her, so I call her the following Thursday and again on Saturday - no response. So given I have the information superhighway at my fingertips and she a distinct first name, I take a long shot at finding her on myspace. Voila! I think I got her with a new, quasi-anonymous profile and a headline which is an apology. In my momentary state of madness, I convince myself this apology is addressed to me. I write her what now reads back as an awkward love letter via email - no response. And later, thanks to the miraculous vice of myspace, I stumble across her old profile, her real profile, on which she has listed herself as "in a relationship", and her top friend is indeed her boyfriend. This makes zero sense to me. Why come on so strongly when she posts pictures of 'the Man she loves' on the net?
Damn my obsessive-compulsive behavior for dwelling on this, draining my cognitive energy, and preoccupying me at all times of the day. This chic drove me temporarily insane – well, insaner than usual. As I constantly over-analyze this situation, I refer back that alcohol is the Truth Serum. Were she truly committed to this guy she would not have approached me no matter how wasted. So is she now too inhibited to carry out with an affair? Was the relationship waning and this was her attempt to voluntarily do something foolish to break it off? Is she just a flirt who does this every weekend? Why, Ladies? Why? Am I too pretty for my own good?
That's it, the girl of my dreams slipped in and out of my life in a span of twenty minutes. I'd bagged a winner. She's a keeper. I had so much I wanted to discuss with her. Now she's off to make love to a tattoo artist. Of all the half-assed meaningless dating, accidental seductions, and missed signals I didn't have the courage to follow up on in high school nor college, I think I've found Her this time, but the situation implodes on me.
So this is what heartache feels like. After consulting with several friends and strangers on this scenario, their general consensus is 'just let her go'. I've held grudges for life; is it my turn to hold a crush for life? Does that contribute to my life's Balance? I'd like to drain my brain of all serontonin, dopamine, norepenephrine, testosterone, phenyethylamine, vasopressin, and oxytocin to escape all this nonsense.
I sound like a goddamned emo song. Somebody call Ben Gibbard and tell him I've got new material.
I don't wish her ill. Thanks for that moment, miss. I felt like a real person for a short while. I now have a face and name to attach to the Incarnation of Desire, the fleeting angel, a handful of smoke. My fear is I'll never meet someone of her caliber again.
"You think not tellin is the same as not lyin, don't you?" –Jack White
Where did this geyser of hope come from? This is me we're talking about, for the five of you who know me. This is the cold guy who refused to tell his girlfriend of over three years that he Loved her. This is the black-hearted man who sympathizes with Voldemort since he never knew Love. This is the antisocial jackass who immediately despises every attractive girl he sees in a club because – well, he jumps to conclusions. This is completely uncharacteristic; this isn't the jerk you've seen moping around. This incident attempts to reaffirm concepts such as kharma or poetic justice, or perhaps I'm just lonely. Read with the caveat that I may have amplified, exaggerated, and cranked up the distortion in my head after all this time to the point where a clean acoustic now sounds like a Mesa Boogie Triple Rectifier:
Let's throw a thick brick on the Wall. I met this gorgeous girl about a month ago. I could imagine her singing for the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Actually she approached me. At first I thought she would attempt to sell me something, then she engaged into run-of-the-mill getting-to-know-you banter. That included the usual inquisition into what my job entails J. She showed strong interest: a good deal of casual touching, a punch to the chest, excited dialogue, and I received a hug after making a crack at Catholicism. However, she also claimed to be drunk, and kept reminding me that I was not being exposed to the real her, her genuine personality being that of an 'asshole' – her word. But we continued to chatter and she said a couple of things that grabbed my interest, and she eventually hit a nerve. As I said before, I have trouble connecting with people. Most people bore me. The yuppie, the jock, the stoned burnout, the religious zealot, the officer & gentleman; I've met you all and you bore me. It takes a rare someone to draw me out of my shell, which she successfully pulled off. "Keep eye contact, make her laugh, and this should draw her in further", as I coach myself. Granted she was hyper due to the alcohol, but being around drunk people has played a funny role to me since high school. Even though I may be sober, I loosen up and let my guard down in the presence of drunks because I can then get away with shrewd acts in the probability that they'll only have a hazy recollection of whatever I did.
So three aspects combined to make an outstanding meeting: lack of inhibition between both of us, she instigating interest by approaching me (which boosts confidence tenfold), and then one-on-one conversation. I can't perform in front of groups, which is why I didn't seek her out as she invited me to join her friends after she left. My thought process being: I met her individually, I'm satisfied in meeting just her, I don't want to meet her tribe, I might then choke up and destroy the entire encounter. Her conclusion was very forward – paraphrased – "We should hang out, we can surf together, I'd hate to walk out on your life and never see you again." She eagerly gives me her number.
So I call her the next day to remind her of our meeting, of which she assured me she would remember despite the alcohol. I realize this goes against the Man Law stated in Swingers that you're supposed to wait three days, but this was an extenuating circumstance since she was under the influence that previous night. She calls back a few hours later and gives me this "let me figure out my work schedule and I'll call you later this week." I don't hear from her, so I call her the following Thursday and again on Saturday - no response. So given I have the information superhighway at my fingertips and she a distinct first name, I take a long shot at finding her on myspace. Voila! I think I got her with a new, quasi-anonymous profile and a headline which is an apology. In my momentary state of madness, I convince myself this apology is addressed to me. I write her what now reads back as an awkward love letter via email - no response. And later, thanks to the miraculous vice of myspace, I stumble across her old profile, her real profile, on which she has listed herself as "in a relationship", and her top friend is indeed her boyfriend. This makes zero sense to me. Why come on so strongly when she posts pictures of 'the Man she loves' on the net?
Damn my obsessive-compulsive behavior for dwelling on this, draining my cognitive energy, and preoccupying me at all times of the day. This chic drove me temporarily insane – well, insaner than usual. As I constantly over-analyze this situation, I refer back that alcohol is the Truth Serum. Were she truly committed to this guy she would not have approached me no matter how wasted. So is she now too inhibited to carry out with an affair? Was the relationship waning and this was her attempt to voluntarily do something foolish to break it off? Is she just a flirt who does this every weekend? Why, Ladies? Why? Am I too pretty for my own good?
That's it, the girl of my dreams slipped in and out of my life in a span of twenty minutes. I'd bagged a winner. She's a keeper. I had so much I wanted to discuss with her. Now she's off to make love to a tattoo artist. Of all the half-assed meaningless dating, accidental seductions, and missed signals I didn't have the courage to follow up on in high school nor college, I think I've found Her this time, but the situation implodes on me.
So this is what heartache feels like. After consulting with several friends and strangers on this scenario, their general consensus is 'just let her go'. I've held grudges for life; is it my turn to hold a crush for life? Does that contribute to my life's Balance? I'd like to drain my brain of all serontonin, dopamine, norepenephrine, testosterone, phenyethylamine, vasopressin, and oxytocin to escape all this nonsense.
I sound like a goddamned emo song. Somebody call Ben Gibbard and tell him I've got new material.
I don't wish her ill. Thanks for that moment, miss. I felt like a real person for a short while. I now have a face and name to attach to the Incarnation of Desire, the fleeting angel, a handful of smoke. My fear is I'll never meet someone of her caliber again.
"You think not tellin is the same as not lyin, don't you?" –Jack White
I was right in the middle of a fucking reptile zoo.
We're diving deep tonight, kids. Exhale all air from your lungs, shut your eyes, and cover your ears…
I ought to post my thesis on Balance to properly set you up for this.
Most modern religions bank on the fact that we all have souls. After death, these souls are sent to some predetermined destination: heaven, hell, purgatory, limbo, or recycled back to Earth for another life. We're in denial that life is linear. Even wiccans believe in reincarnation since that complements their overarching theme of cycles; your soul cycles back to another human being, preferably reunited with loved ones from a previous life. As much as I hate to burst your bubble, but what about when the world ends? What happens when our sun grows into a red giant thereby changing the climate of our solar system, and the seas of Earth boil? Will Gaia herself cross over into some planetary afterlife? Will we all go with her since we are but cogs of her global ecosystem? Naturally, the primary hope is humanity has colonized other planets by then.
Don't ask questions. They only lead to more questions.
Unfortunately, I have read Catch-22 too many times and am a believer in Snowden's Secret: man is matter and nothing more. With that said, I'll spiral off into my whining of the impermanence of life…
Pantheism: nature worship – death is the end of the essence. We share molecules with our surroundings. Our cells are constantly swapping molecules with our envorinment: the air we breath, the food we eat, the carcinogens we smoke. That makes the mind a free-floating reservoir of information, a temporarily suspended central processor. Physically, we are one with all of the universe. Several years ago, I would have shrugged that statement off as bullshit that our parents or elders say to calm us down. That's similar to saying "God works in mysterious ways" when the clergy is asked a question that the bible is unable to answer.
But before I go off on that tangent again, death is simply being unaware of anything. Sleep is like temporary death. Are you aware that you're sleeping? Only when you are aware that you are in a dream, but how often does that happen? So in death we are unaware of pain, confusion, suffering, desire, depression, and anger. That is what you call totally comprehensive relief. Don't worry about it. I'm on the verge of another revelation. Still chasing that dream for complete wisdom, which is ultimately unattainable, but we all need hopes and dreams, right?
Now to what I disagree with the pantheists: since death is awareness of nothing, then it is no different than a person whom was never born. That's a load of crap. Or is it? Don't buy into the tangled web They weave. We are 'priveleged' to be sent on our merry paths of life to experience happiness, pleasure, awe, desire, depression, anger, and worst of all: fear. Only to have it all taken away? To have it wiped from our personally temporary universes? I feel smug when Isaac Brock accuses our Creator of 'indian giving'. Are we any better off after death than before birth? No, we just came full circle back to awareness of nothing. Does that benefit anyone?
Criticize the Maker. That lazy half-assed Divine Plan that Yossarian speaks of is like Roger Waters smacking a gong with all his strength. 'Intelligent Design' you claim? What about phlegm and tooth decay? How about cancer? How about living on the surface of Gaia, where we are constantly exposed to the sun's intense beams of photons, only to be 'blessed' with a weak epidermis incapable of shielding us from harmful UV rays leading to burns? And at the same time we are attracted to people with tan skin. They look healthy. Pale people appear sick. Quite the dichotomy, eh?
There's my balance. I need to satisfy the Rock Gods by maintaining a balance. Evangelists praise Jebus for the gift of life. Yes, it may be a gift during half your life, but it is a wretched burden during the other half. Therefore, in order to logically maintain a balance, we need to both celebrate life and despise it: I shall refer to this as Peak Ying-Yang. And I mean loathe the entire Universe: hate that freebird, detest that blade of grass, abhor the stars on a clear night. Despise the fact that they will all reach their own deaths as will the Universe itself.
It's funny how I'm not in a sour mood. I'm just telling it like it is.
[insert laugh track to ease tension]
I ought to post my thesis on Balance to properly set you up for this.
Most modern religions bank on the fact that we all have souls. After death, these souls are sent to some predetermined destination: heaven, hell, purgatory, limbo, or recycled back to Earth for another life. We're in denial that life is linear. Even wiccans believe in reincarnation since that complements their overarching theme of cycles; your soul cycles back to another human being, preferably reunited with loved ones from a previous life. As much as I hate to burst your bubble, but what about when the world ends? What happens when our sun grows into a red giant thereby changing the climate of our solar system, and the seas of Earth boil? Will Gaia herself cross over into some planetary afterlife? Will we all go with her since we are but cogs of her global ecosystem? Naturally, the primary hope is humanity has colonized other planets by then.
Don't ask questions. They only lead to more questions.
Unfortunately, I have read Catch-22 too many times and am a believer in Snowden's Secret: man is matter and nothing more. With that said, I'll spiral off into my whining of the impermanence of life…
Pantheism: nature worship – death is the end of the essence. We share molecules with our surroundings. Our cells are constantly swapping molecules with our envorinment: the air we breath, the food we eat, the carcinogens we smoke. That makes the mind a free-floating reservoir of information, a temporarily suspended central processor. Physically, we are one with all of the universe. Several years ago, I would have shrugged that statement off as bullshit that our parents or elders say to calm us down. That's similar to saying "God works in mysterious ways" when the clergy is asked a question that the bible is unable to answer.
But before I go off on that tangent again, death is simply being unaware of anything. Sleep is like temporary death. Are you aware that you're sleeping? Only when you are aware that you are in a dream, but how often does that happen? So in death we are unaware of pain, confusion, suffering, desire, depression, and anger. That is what you call totally comprehensive relief. Don't worry about it. I'm on the verge of another revelation. Still chasing that dream for complete wisdom, which is ultimately unattainable, but we all need hopes and dreams, right?
Now to what I disagree with the pantheists: since death is awareness of nothing, then it is no different than a person whom was never born. That's a load of crap. Or is it? Don't buy into the tangled web They weave. We are 'priveleged' to be sent on our merry paths of life to experience happiness, pleasure, awe, desire, depression, anger, and worst of all: fear. Only to have it all taken away? To have it wiped from our personally temporary universes? I feel smug when Isaac Brock accuses our Creator of 'indian giving'. Are we any better off after death than before birth? No, we just came full circle back to awareness of nothing. Does that benefit anyone?
Criticize the Maker. That lazy half-assed Divine Plan that Yossarian speaks of is like Roger Waters smacking a gong with all his strength. 'Intelligent Design' you claim? What about phlegm and tooth decay? How about cancer? How about living on the surface of Gaia, where we are constantly exposed to the sun's intense beams of photons, only to be 'blessed' with a weak epidermis incapable of shielding us from harmful UV rays leading to burns? And at the same time we are attracted to people with tan skin. They look healthy. Pale people appear sick. Quite the dichotomy, eh?
There's my balance. I need to satisfy the Rock Gods by maintaining a balance. Evangelists praise Jebus for the gift of life. Yes, it may be a gift during half your life, but it is a wretched burden during the other half. Therefore, in order to logically maintain a balance, we need to both celebrate life and despise it: I shall refer to this as Peak Ying-Yang. And I mean loathe the entire Universe: hate that freebird, detest that blade of grass, abhor the stars on a clear night. Despise the fact that they will all reach their own deaths as will the Universe itself.
It's funny how I'm not in a sour mood. I'm just telling it like it is.
[insert laugh track to ease tension]
did you see what God just did to us, man?
Why can’t I be one of the millions of blissfully ignorant idiots in this country? They don’t care how refrigerators, air conditioners, credit reports, mortgages, stock markets, electricity, stereos, or magnetic pickups work. As long as they’re functioning, who gives a shit? They don’t care how an internal combustion engine works, they just want to make their cars more powerful, louder, and brag-worthy.
They go with the flow. They’re easily impressed. Their memories are short. They’ll pay to see the same movie with a different title again and again. They don’t care to see the big picture nor the nano picture. They don’t mind wearing other people’s names across their chests. They wear blinders and are kept unawares of international affairs; slaughters and poverty in West Africa, South America, what’s left of Yugoslavia; until the American media alerts them. That’s ‘realism’ for you political scientists. WE are the rich who continue to collect more wealth as the majority of the human race starves.
What choice, as a citizen of the US, have I? Peace Corps?
They go with the flow. They’re easily impressed. Their memories are short. They’ll pay to see the same movie with a different title again and again. They don’t care to see the big picture nor the nano picture. They don’t mind wearing other people’s names across their chests. They wear blinders and are kept unawares of international affairs; slaughters and poverty in West Africa, South America, what’s left of Yugoslavia; until the American media alerts them. That’s ‘realism’ for you political scientists. WE are the rich who continue to collect more wealth as the majority of the human race starves.
What choice, as a citizen of the US, have I? Peace Corps?
one toke, you poor fool?
I sent this email to a 'virgin' friend of mine in late 2002. She was curious about the holy ganja since she heard it's less addictive than alcohol. However, she never tried it... it's her loss I suppose.
Hey Stef,
I think I'll take a study break and share my experiences with you. Plus I started drinking and my mind keeps wandering.
I don't really respect alcohol, it's like a temporary solution. Sure, if I drink enough I find myself in a state of euphoria, and I can't lose the smile on my face. But that doesn't happen too often, because you pay the price and feel like crap the next day. Note that gatorade will crush a hangover.
My primary point is that after the alcohol has burned off, you return to your normal mental state. On the other hand, the holy ganja leaves you with something special. Whilst stoned, you are offered a new perspective with which to see the world/reality. This perspective stays with you after the effects have worn off. I don't want it to sound like you remained tainted forever, but your mind retains the experience and this experience changes your mind. Damn, this is hard to put into words.
But it's even more difficult to describe the effects. Basically, your five senses become enhanced. Colors become brighter, depth perception is exaggerated, foods taste richer, and music sounds so amazingly sweet. Also, the mind speeds up. You become much more observant, thoughts flow clearly and quickly. I always get these personal 'revelations' about life and the universe. You can surprise yourself with your own insight.
I don't like to use it as a social drug. I think you get the most out of it with a small group or even by yourself. Every drug has certain lessons it wants to teach you, and an overly-social environment can distract you from these teachings.
Believe it or not, I use it for the spiritual experience. Becoming stoned is my form of attending a church service. You can receive sensations of connecting with the metaphysical dimension. And like previously mentioned, these feelings can return to you long after the effects wear off. It may conflict with your own religious beliefs, or it may strengthen them. I cannot predict that.
This message is partly a warning and partly a guide. Other users may not agree with what I have said, everyone's mind functions a little differently. I think you will find this helpful since we are both engineers and I believe our minds are pretty similar, except you're generally happy and I'm generally depressed.
Should you choose to give it a try, I highly recommend you do it in a safe and secure setting where there is no possibility of 'getting caught', or else the paranoia can set in. Stay relaxed, be with people you are comfortable with, have some ice cream or at least a cold drink available, and most definitely listen to music. Listen to something you are familiar with, because it may sound completely different while under the influence.
Hey Stef,
I think I'll take a study break and share my experiences with you. Plus I started drinking and my mind keeps wandering.
I don't really respect alcohol, it's like a temporary solution. Sure, if I drink enough I find myself in a state of euphoria, and I can't lose the smile on my face. But that doesn't happen too often, because you pay the price and feel like crap the next day. Note that gatorade will crush a hangover.
My primary point is that after the alcohol has burned off, you return to your normal mental state. On the other hand, the holy ganja leaves you with something special. Whilst stoned, you are offered a new perspective with which to see the world/reality. This perspective stays with you after the effects have worn off. I don't want it to sound like you remained tainted forever, but your mind retains the experience and this experience changes your mind. Damn, this is hard to put into words.
But it's even more difficult to describe the effects. Basically, your five senses become enhanced. Colors become brighter, depth perception is exaggerated, foods taste richer, and music sounds so amazingly sweet. Also, the mind speeds up. You become much more observant, thoughts flow clearly and quickly. I always get these personal 'revelations' about life and the universe. You can surprise yourself with your own insight.
I don't like to use it as a social drug. I think you get the most out of it with a small group or even by yourself. Every drug has certain lessons it wants to teach you, and an overly-social environment can distract you from these teachings.
Believe it or not, I use it for the spiritual experience. Becoming stoned is my form of attending a church service. You can receive sensations of connecting with the metaphysical dimension. And like previously mentioned, these feelings can return to you long after the effects wear off. It may conflict with your own religious beliefs, or it may strengthen them. I cannot predict that.
This message is partly a warning and partly a guide. Other users may not agree with what I have said, everyone's mind functions a little differently. I think you will find this helpful since we are both engineers and I believe our minds are pretty similar, except you're generally happy and I'm generally depressed.
Should you choose to give it a try, I highly recommend you do it in a safe and secure setting where there is no possibility of 'getting caught', or else the paranoia can set in. Stay relaxed, be with people you are comfortable with, have some ice cream or at least a cold drink available, and most definitely listen to music. Listen to something you are familiar with, because it may sound completely different while under the influence.
Chics with Swords
To the Blog-a-rooney McPhatty, the Age of Information Technology is just getting warmed up; we thought we were making leaps and bounds with e-mail and Google. Look at us! International news at our fingertips! Stock quotes by the second! We haven’t registered accounts online; we’ve registered our personal lives. Many of us have fabricated alter-egos (Tyler Durdens); the life we’ve dreamed of is generated and posted. This alter-ego continues growing to the point that it has collected so much momentum, we live vicariously through the ideological entity we inadvertently birthed. Stop playing God, children! Your personal Tyler Durden may rebel like a disgruntled sixteen-year-old.
We haven’t time for parenting; who needs to procreate after we’ve procreated digital clones? OR, it’s only a matter of time until we upload our consciousness unto cyberspace. So much for the good old days of orgies in the temple.
Excuse me as I check my facebook profile.
We haven’t time for parenting; who needs to procreate after we’ve procreated digital clones? OR, it’s only a matter of time until we upload our consciousness unto cyberspace. So much for the good old days of orgies in the temple
Excuse me as I check my facebook profile.
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